Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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