I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
