i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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