Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize