Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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