just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
