sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
