billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize