If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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