so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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