She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
