Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
