don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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