i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
