Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize