i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
