we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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