This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
