Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize