she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
