I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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