I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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