I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
