ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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