I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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