Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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