sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
