and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
