We're facebook friends in real life
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
