did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
