my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
