wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
