You're my little dorito
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
What a dumb baby whore.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
