just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
In other news, I just burned my penis
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
