I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
