Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
