Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
