I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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