Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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