so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just invented taco cereal.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
