Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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