We won't sleep together?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize