i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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