it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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