i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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