i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
