so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
