:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
