I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
