I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
