3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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