Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
