Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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