can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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