I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize