I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
