What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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