No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
