omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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