So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
